Denise Parker wrotes about a formula rep misrepresenting his relationship to
her, and what she says and does.

>She met this man at a clinic where she works.  He told her we were the best
>of friends and that I love the book and use it as a reference all the time!
> He said I routinely recommend it for all the mothers I work with.  I guess
>he just went on and on about what a wonderful relationship we had and how
>much I supported and used his product.


Here's my .02 worth.  First, give yourself several days to get over the
immediate anger.  Second, write a letter to him in which you say that you
have heard this "story" from someone who had talked to him.  Say that you
assume the person *must* have been mistaken because (1) you and he are not
good friends, and have not worked together, (2) that you do not support or
use his product, use the Time-Life book as a reference, or recommend it to
mothers you work with.  Say that you are very concerned that he is either
misinformed about you and your opinions, or that he is being unclear when he
talks to people about you.  Provide him with accurate information about your
opinions and recommendations to mothers so that he will be crystal clear
about your feelings on this topic and can either represent you accurately to
people or, if he is not interested in doing that, then ask him to please
stop discussing your opinions with other people.  Tell him that you would
appreciate knowing if the person who told you the story was accurately
representing what he is saying/doing, and if so, that if you hear that it is
still going on you will take further steps to stop it, such as suing for
libel/defamation of character.  Be exquisitely polite about the whole thing.
Send a copy to as many of his overseers as you can get names/addresses for,
such as the regional manager, state manager, president of the infant formula
company, etc., as well as a copy to TIME/Life books, and be sure you write
the little "cc:" at the bottom of his letter so that he knows you have sent
these copies out.

The advantage of this approach is that you don't accuse him of doing
anything based solely on hearsay, and you give him the chance to say he was
misunderstood or misquoted while letting him know very well that his
comments have gotten back to you and don't appreciate it/won't stand for it.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------
Katherine A. Dettwyler, Ph.D.                         email: [log in to unmask]
Anthropology Department                               phone: (409) 845-5256
Texas A&M University                                    fax: (409) 845-4070
College Station, TX  77843-4352