This is an interesting subject that has always intrigued me since I had my second child six years ago. I wouldn't want to call my experience as a "black cloud" but in the first weeks of his brith I experience real strange feelings of anxiety before actually passing out for about 3-4 minutes (according to my husband and maternity nurse). It was just really weird and lasted for about 3 weeks postpartum. Because of this weird reaction to feeding I would lie down safely in bed to feed and still remember waking up after the feed to find my son lying tight against me looking satiated. The whole episode wore off after a few weeks and I have absolutely no idea why this happened with him. With my daughter 3 years later, I expected the same thing, but it didn't happen (nor did it with my first).  I just persume that I had a hard time adjusting to the fload of oxytocin, which was strong enough to knock me out. For the rest, it was a normal pregnancy, normal healthy home birth.

I'm not sure of there is anything Colleen's mother can do to overcome her "black cloud", but I sure the support she is getting and the recognition of her feelings during feeding will help. Maybe with a little time, it will lessen or at least become an acceptable part of her breastfeeding experience.

Sara Bernard
The Netherlands

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