Anne, what an excellent, truly moving post! Speaking as one who's BTDT (been
there, done that), I can say that I've never read such an accurate summary
of what's going on for these women. My twins are now 17 years old, and your
post made me cry as the memory of the truth of what you said came pouring
back through my body! I remember when I went to my OB for my 6 wk. post-C/S
check-up, and was so exhausted and depressed and crazed from lack of sleep,
and so ASHAMED of feeling that way, that even when he tried to ask the
appropriate questions I denied any problems. Except I did admit
(reluctantly, and as if it didn't matter a hoot) that (OBTW) I was having "a
little trouble sleeping", and he told me to take Benadryl (diphenhydramine)
and that it was OK to take while I was nursing (my twins were huge and
nursing well), and I went out of his office and just cried and cried because
that seemed so unbearably kind of him!

I thought that by 6 wks. I should be on top of everything - my body should
be back to where it had used to be (right - almost 3 months of bedrest, a
C/S, >17 lbs. of baby + polyhydramnios, a 4-yr old,  2 different kinds of
post-op infections, and newborn exclusively BFing twins!), I should show
only cheerful competence to the world, and  shrug off all offers of help
with a breezy "no thanks!" . What was I, nuts? No - suffering, but not
coming anywhere near to admitting it to myself. So still, all these years
later, the thought of that time still makes me cry.

Thanks for the references, too; as you can tell, this has of course become
one of my pet subjects! And now, my beautiful, healthy, strong, creative,
energetic daughters are about to graduate from high school and move on, and
I'll be getting ready in advance for my emotions about THAT (oh, different
list, though...)

Cathy Bargar, RN, IBCLC Ithaca NY