Hi All,
Dr. T describes a situation that I see often in my private practice.  The
mom talks about wanting to do the BF thing then has a horrifying labor and
suddenly seems to change her mind about BF.

 I think what is really going on here is psychological.  Mom may have been
prepared for a wonderful birth - she was going to do this on her own, type
of thing, then BF like a pro because she had all the info and was well
prepared.  Then it all went to hell in a hand-basket.  Think about it:  Her
body FAILED her - She FAILED in not being able to deliver her baby the way
she wanted to.  Our society typically blames us as women for these things -
what did YOU do to cause the labor/birth to go so wrong???  So she feels
like a failure even tho we KNOW SHE is not in reality.  So, since she failed
at giving birth the 'right' way and had so many difficulties - why on earth
would she even think that she could actually BF too?  How many problems will
she run into with that?  Can she even do it?  Probably not since she
couldn't even birth the baby right...So why try???  It is easier to give up
sometimes than to take that step back and say, 'well, this didn't go how I
wanted it to, but I'm going to make this BF thing work any way I can.'

I have felt like a failure in this manner myself and I understand the mind
games we can play on ourselves in these situations.  The tough part is going
back to the mom and helping her to realize that SHE did not fail.  What is
really sad, is that it is likely, under the severe circumstances Dr. T
describes, that she will feel like she failed with BF as well...

Sad, so sad...

Warmly,
Jaye

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