Jamelle notes that I did not provide any evidence for the notion that a
child could be affected negatively if the mother breastfed despite disliking
breastfeeding.  She is correct, of course, as it was conjecture on my part,
born of concern for mothers who aren't enjoying that part of mothering and
may not feel that they can tell it to anyone.  

The ensuing discussion has been illuminating, and has helped me to see
things in many different lights, and I feel less concerned now than I did
when I wrote those words.  Jamelle is right, too, that so much of what we
think is absolute truth is simply culturally determined and thus very
difficult to catch sight of when we are part of the culture.  But I hope I
didn't frame my thoughts so bombastically that they came across as something
I believe to be an unavoidable outcome; I was thinking at the keyboard as it
were, writing down my thoughts to get a better handle on them, so we could
all continue the thread.  

I still think that if someone is going against deep aversive feelings in
order to breastfeed, it will be difficult for her to conceal that from the
nursling, but I'm willing to concede that it is possible, and that the very
continuation of breastfeeding might help to reduce her aversion, and that it
might not even matter if she still has it.  Heaven knows I see plenty of
women who are experiencing excruciating pain and continue to feed as we try
to solve their problems, and I am not concerned about how their babies are
coping with the situation.  And I would never, not ever, tell a woman who
feels ambivalent or aversive about breastfeeding but is feeding anyway,
about my speculations, unless I had some kind of evidence about its effects,
because, after all, what alternative is there?

Rachel Myr
who *loved* breastfeeding because it was the only time I could read a book
undisturbed and the children thought I was paying attention to them - how's
that for being present while being absent? 

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