Attie
I can really feel your frustration and anxiety level being sky high. You can
get thru this as I did. I know there will be more bad days ahead for me but
I would like to offer you and the many others that I KNOW are in this
position too some encouragement. Lactnet was so supportive and encouraging
to me and so I stuck it out. (thank you all lactnetters!) And things got
better.

Mostly I changed my attitude. I can't change the world and the greater
culture by myself, not even in my own little corner of the world, but I can
make a difference. There is so much work still to do but you just have to
let some of it go FOR NOW. One thing that helped me was someone said
something like "when all else fails, lower your standards." This seems like
giving up and giving in. However, by not getting overly "invested" or going
crazy over every imperfect situation, I have energy to make changes where I
can. For example, I am trying to get docs to be more agreeable to allowing
babies to bf when mom on meds. Had some nice discussions with some docs but
still they won't allow moms to bf til 12 - 24 hrs off of mag sulfate. Even
though mag is on the aap approved list. So what do I do? Keep asking every
once in awhile for a mom who is really keen to bf, share the aap new sept
2001 article, tom's book, etc. but ACCEPT THE FACT that this mom will be
delayed bf. And even though it should be the mom's decision, I also had to
make the choice to defer to the doc, and not give the info directly to the
mom, as I would in private practice, becoz I believe it would get me
"blackballed" or boycotted and then I would be of no help to anyone.

Being on lactnet can also be humbling and makes me feel bad at times. When
you know what is the right thing to do, or the best bf-friendly thing to do,
but you're not doing it, it can make you feel inferior. There are some
"purists" on lactnet whom I admire so much and gain so much from their
fierce committment to doing things right. For example, using bottles. I have
only just occasionally brought up about other alternate feeding methods. I
have occas. used supply lines. This is so foreign to the staff and families
in my area. Bottle feeding is a huge cultural norm. It is very difficult to
overcome. So I accept this FOR NOW. I know this is not the ideal thing to do
in many cases, but I try to keep the mom expressing and kangarooing, using a
slow, wide nipple, and if motivated and supported, most of the time the baby
and mom will bf. Another thing that would be very foreign to everyone would
be donor milk. That is something that could happen in our future, but for
now, just keeping moms and babies together is paramount, and we use standard
formula if no ebm available to supplement. I can't let this stress me too
much. Do you see what I am saying? I hope this helps a bit. More later.

Laurie Wheeler, IBCLC, MN, RN
New Orleans Louisiana, s.e. USA - inner city, low income clients w/ low bf
rates


_________________________________________________________________
Chat with friends online, try MSN Messenger: http://messenger.msn.com

             ***********************************************
The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned
LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM)
mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to:
http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html