Dear Folks:
  I had a strong reaction to the neonatologist telling the mother that her
milk can't be used for her preemie because she smokes half a pack a day. It
made me angry.
  First off, are breast-milk substitutes so risk free? Now really!! Even if
the mother is smoking, the baby will not be exposed to second-hand smoke and
will still be getting all the right proteins, fats, immunoglobulins etc. etc.
  Second, who is this man to tell a mother what she can or can not do! Is he
insisting that she get milk from a milk bank? Is he valuing her mothering?
What happened to informed choice, as in giving her the information that it is
wonderful that her baby receives her milk, and that it would be even better if
that milk didn't have tobacco by-products in it.
   What is going to happen to this woman, this mother, and her relationship
with her baby when some "expert" tells her that she isn't good enough for her
baby.  This type of arrogance keeps women away from prenatal care who
desparately need it; women who use substances and fear recrimination when the
truth comes out. So they end up with no care, delivering babies that are in
really bad shape, and we all get to pay for it anyway!
  Where is our compassion, our nurturing, and our acceptance of those who
function in ways that are less than what we think would be best? How can we
teach when the environment isn't safe? How can a mother like this one feel
safe to learn, and to try something new? And this is called "health care?"
   Very warmly! Nikki Lee