"I'm always surprised  at moms who 
nurse the first for a year and then opt to bottle feed the next  because they 
don't feel they can sit down and nurse a newborn while managing a  toddler...
Some of these moms aren't as overwhelmed as they are concerned  that they are 
doing the first baby an injustice by not being able to attend to  the first 
baby's every whim and want."

I've come to see these moms in a different light.  Our births don't support immediate, solid bonds with our babies.  We grow those bonds over time.  Then the next "little stranger" appears.  We have at least some urge to do what any sensible mammal would do: invest our energies in the "keeper" - the healthy 2 or 3 year old to whom we're now stuck like glue.  And if that means bottle-feeding the newcomer, so be it.  

The most dramatic example I've seen (and I haven't seen more than a few ever) was the mom who nursed her first for 10 months and worked hard for the first week or two to get her 37-or-so weeker breastfeeding.  Then her blooming, healthy 2 year old came home from grandma's... and she dropped her breastfeeding efforts like a hot potato.  Her husband was desolate, but she was unmoveable.  Had I understood at the time what the likely biology was behind her feelings, I could have talked to her on that level, but I didn't.  The weaning was permanent, at a couple weeks of age.  From a mammalian perspective, her decision made perfect sense.

Diane Wiessinger, MS, IBCLC, LLLL  Ithaca, NY  USA
www.wiessinger.baka.com

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