I have never heard a woman say that she knew formula was probably  
number 4 on the list of things to feed a baby, and that she knew  
there were many benefits for both baby and child (bonding, immnunity  
boost, etc), but that she just didn't want to breastfeed.... period.

What I do hear is that some women stop because they didn't have the  
support they needed: no tips to successfully start breastfeeding  
(let's face it, most of us don't have mothers who have advice based  
on experience), no tips on feeding herself to help milk supply, no  
one to help take care of other children while she breastfeds,  
breastfeeding and working, etc. This is where support from other  
mothers who have breastfed and/or LCs is vital!

I also sometimes come across an annoying article, which I can't help  
feeling is meant to upset me. The kind written by Debra Picket. The  
commentary describes what an agony the whole subject is to her and of  
course it ridicules the people who try to support breastfeeding. But  
I don't get annoyed.  I find it amusing, really. If she finds the  
prospect of breastfeeding sooooo awful, why go to a class about it?  
She sounds more like a woman trying to keep up with the Jones, than  
having an open mind on the subject. The girlish tone rings of someone  
who is following a fad she doesn't like, and dutifully follows it  
because that is the current fad.

It isn't a fad. I was tempted to respond to the author (there was a  
link back to the blog) to state that I've breastfed, and still went  
to coffee shops, the movies, park, had fun, had a life, did not  
suffer pain, loved it, etc. But I decided against it. I honestly feel  
that commentaries like that are not meant to start a healthy debate  
on a woman's right to decide to breastfeed (and be able to follow  
through) or not, but more of an inflammatory text meant to undermine  
breastfeeding and those who work hard to support it. How can a text  
so full of stereotypes be anything else?

Cheers,

Celia
Montreal, Canada
-------------------------------------------------------

Date:    Sat, 2 Dec 2006 19:06:15 -0500
From:    Carol Mulligan <[log in to unmask]>
Subject: From the Chicago Sun, Fri, 12/1, by Debra Picket

Friday's column: Breast-feeding is the new labor
Our mothers think we're crazy. Though few of them had full-time  
careers w=
hile=20
they were pregnant and raising infants, they did all have lives, they  
tel=
l us=20
now. They went places. Did things. Drank coffee. Had cocktails. They  
were=
=20
not, in other words, breast-feeding their babies every two hours.

And somehow, they kindly point out, those babies survived. Nurtured  
on=20=

powdered formula and instant cereal, we grew into healthy, successful  
adu=
lts.

In response, we just smile our smug, how-little-they-knew-then  
smiles.=20=

Because we'd sooner buy a flammable cradle with its razor-sharp edges  
coa=
ted=20
in lead paint than give our own precious babies food from a can.

Every generation finds its own way to make peace with the bone- 
grinding h=
ard=20
work that is new motherhood. For the women of the late '60s-early  
'70s=20=

Lamaze era, grueling labor stories were the key to establishing one's  
sta=
tus as=20
a martyr. So even if you stashed your little one in a plastic playpen  
whi=
le=20
having a cigarette and a nice, long gossip with your neighbor, you  
could =
still=20
claim the moral high ground of motherhood by invoking the 36-hour- 
long la=
bor=20
you endured with only deep breathing and a reluctantly enlightened  
husban=
d=20
to dull the pain.

In the age of the epidural and the scheduled C-section, such horror  
stori=
es are=20
passe.

Breast-feeding is the new labor

There's a new way to measure your maternal bona fides, one that makes=20
natural childbirth seem like a walk in the park. Because, really,  
what's =
one day=20
of sweating and suffering when compared to a whole year's worth of  
pain a=
nd=20
inconvenience?

If you want to be considered a good mother in today's playpen-free  
cultur=
e of=20
hyper-involved parenting, you must enter the world of competitive  
breast-=

feeding.

The experience begins, oddly enough, before your child is even born.=20
Obstetricians now routinely ask their patients about how they plan to  
fee=
d=20
their babies and offer not-exactly-subtle pushes in the "right"  
direction=
.=20
Pregnant women are encouraged to sign up for "Introduction to Breast-
feeding" courses that spell out all the benefits of breast-feeding,  
while=
  aiming=20
to minimize any of the bad things they might have heard -- either  
from th=
eir=20
own, obviously unreliable, mothers or from friends who've been  
regaling t=
hem=20
with tales of pain, infection and secret office breast-pumping sessions.

My class was Wednesday night.

I'd been dreading it for weeks, bemoaning both its scheduling --  
three ho=
urs,=20
after work, on a weeknight -- and what I assumed would be its preachy=20
Breast-is-Best content. But, though I magnanimously gave my husband  
the=20=

night off -- his presence was encouraged "for emotional support" -- I  
dar=
ed=20
not play hooky.

I've got way too many bad mom strikes -- a taste for champagne and a  
desi=
re=20
for a short maternity leave foremost among them -- against me already.

So I dutifully showed up to join five other pregnant women who'd  
assemble=
d in=20
the waiting area of our doctors' office, which had been converted  
into a=20=

screening room for a lactation-themed slide show and video  
presentation. =
We=20
all wore the same look of grim determination, tempered by good- 
humored=20=

attempts to disguise our unease.

The video, which mostly consisted of extreme close-up shots of tiny  
babie=
s=20
hungrily latching on to enormous, looming breasts twice the size of  
their=
=20
heads, lacked only the theme from Jaws to make it truly terrifying.  
And t=
he=20
slide show, which featured pastel pencil sketches of multi-ethnic  
babies =
and=20
their blissed out mamas, was as sweet as the video was frightening.  
Neith=
er=20
seemed particularly grounded in real life.

It was the advice of the instructor -- a nurse practitioner who, I  
had to=
  admit,=20
seemed quite normal and less evangelical than I'd expected -- that  
was th=
e=20
big draw. We'd all heard about breast-feeding complications and were  
look=
ing=20
for something to sootr anxiety about what has become the great test  
of=20=

modern motherhood: Will I be woman enough to nurse my baby for the  
full,=20=

American Academy of Pediatrics-recommended year?

'City moms' are the problem

Our teacher, Claire, who, of course, breast-fed both of her kids,  
assured=
  us=20
that it would be no problem. "Really," said Claire, who happens to  
work i=
n our=20
doctors' Northbrook office, "it's only our city moms who tend to have  
tro=
uble."

Her pronunciation of the word "city" made it sound a lot like  
"neurotic."=


She then proceeded to regale us with tales of women so determined to=20
exclusively breast-feed their nutritionally challenged babies that  
the ki=
ds=20
wound up in intensive care, a fate that might easily have been  
avoided wi=
th=20
some supplemental formula.

"You just need to relax," she told us.

And then, mercifully, she let us out of class an hour early.

Posted by Debra Pickett on September 29, 2006 09:00 AM | Permalink=20
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