Hi Angela

What a challenge!  Firstly, the baby is not a Thing!  On the pretext 
that you want to include a session on Baby-care, is it at all 
possible for you to beg, borrow or steal the youngest breastfeeding 
mother and baby you can find, and take them along to your next 
session with this teenage mom-to-be _and_ hopefully the grandmother-to-be?

Occasionally, I used to teach breastfeeding to 16-17 year old High 
School students, and sometimes paid a nice, pretty, young mother to 
come and model breastfeeding for them - just to sit close to me at 
the front of the class and breastfeed her baby whenever the baby 
seemed to want to suck, which of course was often.  As I went through 
the other info it was often plain that they didn't hear a word I said 
- all eyes were rivetted on the baby.  But that was fine, because I 
was trying to "sell" breastfeeding, rather then get them to remember 
facts.  Babies are very compelling.  If your young mother was able to 
start thinking of her baby as a little vulnerable person for whom she 
will be solely responsible for the next 20-odd years, if you are able 
to help her see that you, she and the grandmother all have the 
responsibility to put the Baby's health and well-being ahead of any 
other consideration, and if you're able to really show her that 
breastfeeding a baby is a lovely thing to do, and couple it with 
clear info that alternatives to breastfeeding are risky, then you 
might be in with a chance!

I'm sure it's tempting to try and skirt around breastfeeding in order 
to not alienate and therefore "keep" this client.  But you're in a 
unique position.  If she doesn't hear about how she can keep her baby 
healthy and happy from you, who will she hear it from?  You're not 
responsible for this mother's final decision, but as an allied 
healthcare professional (as Morgan has just pointed out) there _is_ 
an ethical responsibility to the Baby to warn her of the dangers of 
_not_ breastfeeding.   In view of the fact that she herself was 
adopted and so wasn't breastfed, you could perhaps present the info 
on the sliding scale as others have so well described too, so as to 
affirm the grandmother's mothering while being quite clear that 
everyone will want to do the very best they can for _this_ Baby.

Good luck!  Maybe you'll be able to let us know what happens - and, 
later, whether she does go on to breastfeed?

Pamela Morrison IBCLC
Rustington, England
----------------------
Hello,
I have the unique pleasure/challenge of working as a doula/CBE for a
teenager due in September.  I've been helping her prepare for the birth of
her baby, and recently broached the subject of breastfeeding.  Her response
made me sad -- "I can't stand the thought of something sucking on me all
day."  I was taken aback, took a deep breath, and replied that babies do
love to suck, but that I understood how that may seem overwhelming - then
promptly changed the subject.  I would like to be able to help her
understand the benefits of breastfeeding without alienating her  --- as her
doula, she needs to feel completely supported by me.  To add to this, she
was adopted at 5 weeks of age and bottle fed, so her mother doesn't see any
real benefit to breastfeeding either.  Her mother's response was, "she's a
teenager."  I would LOVE it if anyone had suggestions on what I could do/say
--- I tried telling her that she'd lose weight faster and that made her
smile, but not enough to even consider breastfeeding.
Thank you very much, I look forward to any responses I receive.
Warmly,
Angela Leonard, IBCLC, LCCE, CD(DONA)

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