Hi Fiona

It is saddenning when a mom doesn't see the possibilities of breastfeeding
the way we do.  I remember my sponsor LLL Leader saying, "Her decision is
not your responsibility.  You have given her all the information, and it is
up to her what she does with it.  This is not your problem."

It's hard when we seeing someone turning away from the joy we have
experienced.  You have given her far more knowledgeable support than she has
gotten from her health professionals, and unfortunately that is all that you
can do.  Sometimes empowering the mother doesn't turn out the way we would
want!  If you had called earlier, or pushed harder she would likely have
felt you were pushing her where she didn't want to go/making her feel
guilty, etc.
And in case you are second-guessing the quality of help you gave her (as I
have done in the past), if she was motivated and felt 'better/more
experienced/more advanced' help was what she needed she would have sought
out an LC!  I have worked with a teen mom who drove 3 hours to the closest
LC - if the mother is motivated she will seek out whatever she needs to
succeed at breastfeeding.  If she isn't motivated, nothing you could have
said would make a difference. You are right - the interest isn't there, and
you can't create it!

Take care,

Michelle, LLL

----- Original Message -----
From: "Fiona & Steve Dionne" <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Wednesday, February 13, 2002 8:36 AM
Subject: what do you do?


Anyhow...what more can I do, short of knocking her door down (which I
don't want to do)?  The #1 rule has been followed:  baby is being fed.
Baby will not starve to death even if mom slowly gives more and more
formula.  ...  I feel as
if I've failed at helping her...I should have called her back earlier, I
should have pushed more...but then maybe that would have been worse and
more "attack-like" from her perspective.  :-(  ..but the interest seems not
to be there.

Saddened, Fiona

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