> I believe one of the most important factors in making positive health
> changes is having role models that look and talk like you.  Nice pamphlets and
> videos only go so far.
>
Yes, this is so important, as is having the needs and issues come out of
a particular group (as local as possible). The same thing is true in
First Nations communities, in teen mothers' groups, in twins' clubs. The
"been there done that" is important. Unfortunately, there are few role
models to go around, in some places and at some times. But when we are
conscious of our differences, our positions, it is helpful to articulate
it and to acknowledge the limitations. Then we can hear and see the
multiple influences on a mother's experiences.

Whenever we are "educating" about breastfeeding (or most other things of
importance) it is essential to do more listening than talking. I mean
real listening, which does not involve thinking that it is a shame
people feel one way or say certain things. My experience is that at the
beginning, we can chomp down on our tongues when we feel those thoughts
coming up -- the censorship, the judgments, the distance, ego, the
conviction that we are right. We can practice not saying these things
out loud, and eventually, it starts to come naturally. That one woman
who makes us rethink our position on an issue is doing the same thing we
are trying to do... encourage people to make changes in their lives. The
process we go through, learning to accept mothers where they are and
coming to understand them is pretty similar to the changes in personal
lives and in society. It always takes a lot of time and is subject to
both setbacks and break-throughs, neither of which can be predicted or
controlled.

That's why I think it's important to work on overcoming our own
obstacles to understanding, those inner statements that "no one in her
right mind would..." I am no longer sure about anything except the value
of possibilities that uncertainty can open up. That is a lesson my
children have taught me.

off the soapbox and off to bed
Jo-Anne Elder-Gomes, PhD in matters unrelated, IBCLC by choice, mother
for reasons still being discovered.




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