This case is certainly unique. Others of you have posted some very helpful
views on the case. I have had experience in working with several adoptive
mothers, some of whom had open adoptions. One case, in particular, might be
helpful here.

This mother began pumping 3 months before her baby was due and within 2
weeks was getting "something" from her breasts. She began using More Milk
Plus and got more of the creamy substance. It was agreed that she would go
to the hospital and feed the baby at her breast before the baby went to
foster care for the 5 weeks that is required in Wisconsin.

The birth mother was firm in her resolve to give up her baby...until she
saw the adoptive mother feeding the baby at her breast and talking to him
and cuddling him. The tenderness seemed to bring out her own natural
mothering instincts and she changed her mind about the adoption.

Amidst much sadness the adoptive mother stopped pumping for a while, until
there was another baby due in about 2 months. She resumed pumping and began
using domperidone along with More Milk Plus and soon began collecting milk
in her freezer--not a lot, but she was so proud.

She went to the hospital again and fed the baby who suckled fine. She
talked to and cuddled the baby and, again, the birth mother's heart was
opened and she kept her baby.

When the next baby became available the adoptive mother decided to not go
the the hospital, but to arrange with the foster mother to come there after
the baby was with her. She continued pumping and had four 4 oz bottles of
her milk in the freezer by the time that the baby was born. The birth
mother relinquished her baby along with a photo album of the family.

The baby fed at the breast with supplementer for about 7 months. The mother
provided about 60% of her baby's milk. The parents said that they knew why
the first adoptions fell through. THIS little boy was supposed to be their
baby and if the other ones had worked out they wouldn't have had HIM. He is
so treasured.

I know that, under any circumstances, birth mothers find that they cannot
act against their natural instincts and give up their babies, but I believe
that the first two mothers' seeing this woman treasuring their babies--
talking to them lovingly, and cuddling them as if they were truly valuable
little beings made it impossible to let them go.

I think that this observation could be instructive to nursing staff who are
being watched by new mothers. These impressionable new mothers are
internalizing ways of handling and ways of "seeing" their babies.

So, what is best in the case that Kathy wrote about? Is it better for the
baby to have his mother's milk for as long as possible even if it heightens
the risk of the couple's not having this baby? Does it really heighten the
risk? Will there be other complications with the birth mother supplying the
baby's nutrition? Or will everything be better because of it?

Where is Solomon when we need him?

Pat Gima, IBCLC
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Mailto:[log in to unmask]

             ***********************************************
The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned
LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM)
mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to:
http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html