Kim and colleagues,

Last week I called our local Family Court and talked to the Court Manager
about custody issues (which they call "Family Rights and
Responsibilities!"). It was very enlightening. The Court Manager said that
the main thing for the mother to do, is to know what she wants. (I would
suggest writing it down, so it doesn't fly out of her head when she gets
there.) She should think about what WOULD work for them, keeping in mind (at
least here in Vermont) that the judge will want the dad to have some time
with the baby. That does NOT mean overnights are necessary, just that the
dad should not be a stranger to the baby when the time comes when he will
have more time alone with the baby. That might mean an hour a week now, and
more to come (like - an hour twice a week).

She encouraged other LCs to call their local courts and get information. I
looked up the local officials on our Vermont Judiciary website. I would
think that Canadian provinces might have websites too, or don't be afraid to
call the court and ask. Apparently very often dads are threatening and moms
are scared and don't know what their rights are. Here, the Court Manager
said that you could just start with the simple sentence, "I do not agree
with that."

I hope this helps. I was agreeably surprised with how nice they were. Also
LLL has some good info that will help you wrap your head around "What is
best for the baby" - like so many other things about new parenthood, these
custody battles often get really zero'd in on the breastfeeding and it all
gets crazy.

Dawn Kersula MA, RN, IBCLC and etc
in Vermont USA

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