Don't know about well-turned phrases, but surely the most over-the-top
claim by any CD reviewer was about a version of Haydn's 'Creation' that
went something like this: "A splendid performance every bit as wonderful
as the event it was intended to depict."

In another vein, on eBay recently I ran into this adjectivally extravagant
and mentally logjamming CD description:

    The Vogler Quartett perform their historic readings of
    BEETHOVEN's Quartet Op. 59 No. 1 "Rasumovsky" (39:32) and
    BARTOK's Quartet No. 2 Op. 17 (27:25) on this very very rare
    & long out-of-print, hard-to-find & absolutely extinct,
    unsealed but unplayed & 100% brand new original *vintage*
    1992 [DDD] BMG~RCA VICTOR Red Seal CD 09026-61185-2 printed
    & made in the U.S.A.!

Whew!

Bert Bailey