I hope the following, taken from the American Guild of Organists Magazine
The Clarion, is appropriate for the group.  While not very serious, it
does show how one's perspective can be skewed.

IF ORGANISTS WROTE THE WEDDING COLUMNS

On Saturday, the fifth of August, at well after the stated time of 2:00
P.M., Ann Jones and Bob Smith were married at Our Lady of Sorry Acoustics.
The groom wore a suit and the bride wore a dress.  The organist's shoes,
in tasteful basic black, were by Organmaster.

The Organ is a rebuild by Harvey Piston Schotz VI of a 2m Whisk which
contains pipework from the original Ox tracker that existed before the
tragic fire.  The harmonic flute is to die for and the cor anglais is
like buttah, but the combination action is unreliable.

There were attendants all over the place, but the organist still got only
3/4 of the way through "The Prince of Denmark's March" with no repeats,
ending on the dominant.  That the 8' Tuba was the central feature of the
processional was obvious; this could be seen on the smiling faces of
everyone in attendance.

After a few minutes of some speaking by some clergy-type, the organist
played the first four phrases of the Schubert "Ave Maria" (in E-flat)
on the Gernshorn 8' while the couple did something.  Later, the bride's
sister's best friend's adopted niece breathily sang "The Wedding Song" from
the balcony, without interludes.  (The organist left them in.) This didn't
matter because she used the microphone, obliterating the subtle chiff of
the Gedeckt 8'.

The recessional was the Mendelssohn, played on a satisfying plenum.  It was
played ABABA form to fit the length of the movement.

The guests talked throughout the postlude, but the organist added stops as
the noise level increased, masterfully maneuvering each drawknob, coupler,
and reversible WITHOUT MISSING A SINGLE NOTE OF THE WIDOR!!!  This noble
feat did not go unnoticed by the congregation, as attested to by audible
sighs of relief which were heard as soon as the music stopped.

The bride and groom went to college somewhere, but they did not take any
music appreciation courses.  After their honeymoon, they plan to blend
into suburbia, where the highlight of each year will undoubtably be the
replaying of their wedding video and reliving each musical moment.

--Dave Wolf  [log in to unmask]