You heard it here.  There's pretty much an identified disorder for every
type of human activity, including the act of hoarding.  This particular
disorder involves the accumulating of "things" over many years, things
which are not likely to be utilized.  The common results of hoarder
disorder are not that bad, the worst being a decrease of mobility and
useable space on your property as more and more of it is taken up by the
accumulated items.  What's the basic motivation behind hoarding? It's
simply to feel more secure against the outside elements.  Persons having
this disorder do, from time to time, decide to get rid of some things.
However, they usually back out as feelings of anxiety intensify.

Many list members possess this disorder.  The following criteria will
provide you a reasonable foundation to determine if you are one of the
afflicted:

1.  You keep every single earnings & leave type statement from employers
you ever received.  This is to prove to yourself that you actually are
considered worthy of employment.

2.  You keep all your old footwear.  Caution:  there is a sexual component
to the hoarding of foot-related items.  No kidding.  Mrs.  Marcos knew what
she was doing.

3.  You keep all your old audio components, even though you know there's no
chance of wanting to use them.  Folks with this problem also tend to hold
on to old water heaters and furnaces.

4.  Every classical music magazine, periodical, and book you ever acquired
is still in your possession, even those which incurred significant water
damage.

5.  You keep every recording you ever acquired, including those you have
not played for many years performed by artists you detest and written by
composers you bad-mouth regularly.

6.  You print out every one of your MCML postings and paste each one in a
scrapbook.  You really exist!  You have made your mark!

No, all six criteria are not necessary.  Just one puts you in the hoarder
disorder grouping.  Needless to say, I do not possess any of those traits.
I am a HEALTHY person.  I don't print MY postings, I print YOURS, so I can
use them against you if you run for political office.  I throw out every
recording I like, so I can satisfy my buying disorder.  I keep every
magazine exactly 1.5 years; that coincides with how long my box of eye
lenses lasts - read, eyes, you understand.  Concerning footwear, I usually
can be found trying to discard my shoes while they're still on my feet.
And, I throw out my earnings and leave statements before I open them.

Maybe I'm not so healthy.  In additon to a buying disorder, I appear to
have a "discard" disorder.  It's no wonder my wife became very concerned
when I came home one day with a large metal barrel that possessed her
approximate dimensions.

At least I can take solace in the fact that we classical music lovers are
emotionally healthier than any other segment of the population.

Don Satz
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