Diane wrote that << after a couple years, it was our boys'
 procedure to start the night in twin beds - sometimes sharing one - in their
 own room, but to come into ours whenever they wanted. >>


We do something similar, having stumbled on it gradually after moving
developmentally through several other arrangements that none of us were quite
as happy with overall.    Generally our girls get their stories and lullabies
in one of their beds together; then the visitor gets carried to her own and
snuggled in when they are ready to really sleep.   When they wake up at night
if they want to come in, then in they come (though my younger daughter, who
is the chief wanderer, sometimes heads back to her own bed complaining that
ours is "too squishy).    I found we had a lot of visits last month, when
both were starting new schools; now that everybody's routine is more
normalized we had two visitorless nights this week, about which I am deeply
ambivalent...

This kind of arrangement sometimes works for parents who have trouble falling
asleep initially if kids are already taking up the whole middle of the bed --
or if they are loathe to give up the marital chat-and-snuggle in privacy in
the early part of the night but still want to be available for snuggling when
the little ones are feeling needy.


Elisheva Urbas
NYC

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