Nikki, without being able to touch all of what "being watched" might mean, I
certainly do think that with both my newborns, when I was psychically busy
with people other than my new baby I tended to anticipate less my baby's need
to nurse.

I distinctly remember my husband feeling that, in my desire to pay attention
to my toddler's intense need for Ima at that time, I was less attentive to my
newborn's cues than I had been with her sister.  If he had been less vigilant
about that I would almost certainly have ended up feeding on later cues, like
screaming, rather than early ones.

And I am sure that the same feeling -- that when I am looking person A in the
eye it is hard to focus on person B, even if person B is the newborn -- is
part of the reason that too many visitors are detrimental to bf, even if the
visitors are generally supportive.

Whether we think of our relation to those visitors warmly (relation, support,
affection) or less so (defense, criticism, wariness, obligation) either one
could prevent a mom from getting her "work" done.

Elisheva Urbas
NYC

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