Magda writes:

> On the one side is the
>'empowerment' agenda -- we support what women want to do in a non-judgemental
>and woman-centred way.  On the other side is the absolute knowledge of the
>life-long health consequences for the baby of not exclusively breastfeeding.
>How to balance the two???

Well, this is how I resolve it (on good days : ) ) - the individual woman
needs support and affirmation in her bf. We don't use words like success or
failure in an individual situation with a real person involved, but instead
we talk about happy, effective breastfeeding.  On a more societal level, we
can use success or failure, and campaign to improve education and support
throughout 'the system' so no one stops bf before they want to, or because
they think it doesn't really matter.

So a woman can be 'successful'  if we use that term, in her eyes, and we do
nothing to undermine that. We cannot see inside her head or walk in her
shoes, so we keep silent. But we can rail against a situation that has led
her to think that *any* bf  is successful.

I had to do some writing recently - notes for an educational video on bf. I
had to follow up four of the women to complete their post-video case
histories. Not one of them had bf more than four months. They *all*
regarded themselves as bf mothers - but one, who had receieved nothing but
criticism from her friends and family for bf - told me 'well, I did it for
eight weeks, and that is seven weeks six days more than I thought I would
manage it.So I am pleased.' But she added that when she met mothers still
doing it, she felt sad, too, because she knew what she was missing.

I think we have to be there for that ambiguity, to empathise with it, and
celebrate whatever bf  we can - for the individual. As for the rest of the
world, we keep on keeping on.....

Heather Welford Neil
NCT bfc Newcastle upon Tyne UK

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