To all new mothers:

Are you wishing for a good night's sleep? We are now able to offer you a
new wonder drug, guaranteed to help your baby sleep longer by slowing
the digestive process, thus giving the baby a longer lasting feeling of
fullness and satisfaction.  The drug is available in liquid form, and
can be fed to the baby in a convenient plastic container.

Unfortunately, the new drug has a few minor side effects.  It is known
to cause a higher rate of gastrointestinal disorders and repiratory and
ear infections, and may increase the likelihood of developing such
conditions as asthma, allergies, Crohn's disease, and juvenile onset
diabetes.  In addition, the use of this drug may increase the likelihood
of SIDS, contribute to a lower I.Q., and interfere with early bonding.

So, new mothers, are you interested?  No?  How about if I offer to give
you a free sample?  Still not interested?  Then why are you feeding your
baby formula?

Lori Lerman, R.N.
Frustrated in Winchester, MA