Hi everybody. I have been reading all the posts concerned with grief over
our  time and energy and enthusiasm and knowledge and love  that we pour out
upon the women who seek us out and with whom we come into contact at our
various workplaces. When I read these posts everyday I am astonished by the
number of people all over the world whose lives we touch and the difference
we make and the good things we do. I think that it is easy to become
overwhelmed by how large the job is (ie to convert the whole world to
loving BF) and forget how small it really is -- you and me and helping the
next mother. Thanks Barbara for including Mother Theresa's quote about being
faithful, it was relevent to me. I am just about to be interviewed for a
midwifes position at my hospital. The director of nursing passed on a little
message to me that that my only problem is that I am too strong on
Breastfeeding.(!) I am not too sure what she means by that but she mentioned
two cases to me --
1. a five week old infant admitted with pyloric stenosis was still vomiting
post surgery but breastfeeding beautifully. I went on days off,when I
returned the baby was on bottles with pumped milk. No orders by the ped to
start this  and no documentation by staff as to why it was done.  I felt it
was necessary to explain to all staff involved that to document such a
change IS important, and explained my reasons. Evidently someone was put
out, must have felt I was a bit overboard.
  2.  A six week old failure to thrive BF infant was admitted. The ped asked
me ( by name in the patients history) to assess the lactation and assist the
mother who really wanted to BF. I ascertained that the mum did in fact want
to continue with BF, yes she did so I began. I did a complete lactation
history in the notes, went over all sorts of suggestions with the mum and
why I was suggesting them. I  documented in the nursing care plan each
intervention and expected outcome. It was alot of work and my guess is that
none of the nurses have ever seen a history like it. When I popped into the
ward two days later, the charge nurse bailed me up and said that the mum had
decided to wean, and intended to do so at home, not in hospital because she
felt that staff were pushing her ( was this me?) to breastfeed. In
retrospect I think the only option I didn't write up was weaning.
Two days ago I was pretty horrified that my feelings that people only ever
see me as a fanatic were confirmed. I try to be so careful to not be
perceived as "pushing" people to breastfeed and I feel as though I'm
backpedalling at times trying not to run over other people's toes and
sensitive feelings. I was quite prepared to drop all my lactation things
and do all the "right "things in order to get a permanent position. BUT ,
"we are not called to be successful but faithful". I have gone over my job
brief with a fine toothed comb and guess what, this IS my job to educate and
promote and encourage and implement change for better nursing practice and
promote health! If it means I don't get a permanent position, well too bad,
I'm not backing down!  Kind regards to everyone, Thanks for reading all
this, it helps to get it off my chest and I know you will understand how I
feel.
                                        Ruth Leon, nurse midwife IBCLC