I thought I had heard it all but this takes the award.
Chuck
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FORWARDED FROM: Ellenbaum, Charles O.
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Date:         Thu, 7 Nov 1996 17:32:32 -0600
Reply-To: Steve Russell <[log in to unmask]>
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From: Steve Russell <[log in to unmask]>
Subject:      JOB FOR PHYSICAL ANTHRO
To: Multiple recipients of list ARCH-L <[log in to unmask]>
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Any unemployed physical anthropologists are requested to contact the
Arizona Highway Patrol:
 
>
>You have heard about the Darwin Awards - It's an annual honor
>given to the person who did the gene pool the biggest service
>by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way.
>Last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke
>machine which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting
>to tip a free pop out of it.
>
> And this year's nominee is:
>
>The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering
>metal embedded into the side of a cliff rising above the road
>at the apex of a curve.  The wreckage resembled the site of an
>airplane crash, but it was a car.  The type of car was
>unidentifiable at the scene.  The lab finally figured out what
>it was and what happened.  It seems that a guy had somehow
>gotten hold of a JATO (Jet Assisted Take Off - actually a
>solid fuel rocket) that is used to give heavy military
>transport planes an extra "push" for taking off from short
>airfields.  He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert
>and found a long, straight stretch of road.  Then he attached
>the JATO unit to his car, jumped in, got up some speed and
>fired the JATO!  The facts as best as could be determined are
>that the operator of the 1967 Impala hit the JATO ignition at
>a distance of approximately 3.0 miles from the crash site.
>This was established by the prominent scorched and melted
>asphalt at that location.
>
>The JATO, if operating properly, would have reached maximum
>thrust within 5 seconds, causing the Chevy to reach speeds
>well in excess of 350 mph and continuing at full power for an
>additional 20-25 seconds.  The driver, soon to be pilot, most
>likely would have experienced G-forces usually reserved for
>dog-fighting F-14 jocks under full after-burners, basically
>causing him to become insignificant for the remainder of the
>event.  However, the automobile remained on the straight
>highway for about 2.5 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver
>applied and completely melted the brakes, blowing the tires
>and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface, then
>becoming airborne for an additional 1.4 miles and impacting
>the cliff face at a height of 125 feet leaving a blackened
>crater 3 feet deep in the rock.
>
>Most of the driver's remains were not recoverable; however,
>small fragments of bone, teeth and hair were extracted from the
>crater and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece
>of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel.