I never saw that one, sounds like a gem.  You'll have to come over and see the CBI, paper everywhere.  We've finally finished entering the Wellstart collection.  I really need to figure out this copyright business and find some money so I can share!  Pat in SNJ
 
Question 3 (remember the lactating mom was having a cardiac pacemaker wire implanted)

3. What is the impact of matenal indwelling cardiac pacemaker wires on the infant with sucking dysfunction?

a. id saliva is acid, contact will fuse tongue to lower gum and nipple to hard palate, rendering the problem of reluctant nursers  extinct.

b. should saliva be excessive, 40 cc of atropine will reduce the likelihood of shorting the glossopharyngeal nerve and the pubococcygeus muscle.

c.  nipples are rarely chewed if nursed more than every 4 hours, as inappropriate stimulation of nipple epithelium will result in aversive shock.

d. appropriate sucking will stimulate the erection of his erectile tissue and facilitate circumcision.

4. In the event of nipple maceration, effective management would include:

a. performance of microsurgery to repair nipple epithelium.

b. hygenic disposal of nipple fragments in denture cup.

c. application of epoxy glue for instant binding in the "sensitive period,"

d. careful application of Preparation H for its topical anesthetic effect. [good grief, don't try this at home-it's a joke]

Tune in for the last 2 questions.  Sound familiar yet?

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