Marianne says:

>
>**What often surprises me, is that parents sometimes really *do* 
>know where to get help, but don't!


We have explored this. It's not uncommon for us to see mothers we 
have met antenatally in class (at a class reunion, say) and the 
mother is already bottle feeding, having stopped bf because of often 
simple-to-address challenges, or small issues that have become major 
ones because of lack of help. Or we take calls from women in 'train 
wreck' situations which have been allowed to drift when a small 
intervention earlier on would have helped.  Some of us have asked 
mothers - at the right time - why did you not call us, or another 
source of trusted support?

Here are some of the reasons I have discovered:

* I was very tearful and I worried about bursting into tears on the phone
* I was scared you would tell me there was no hope left and I would 
have to bottle feed
* I had already used formula and was scared you'd make me feel bad about it
* I didn't think you could help
* I hated the idea I couldn't breastfeed and did not want to go into details
* I believed my midwife/HV  when she said breastfeeding wasn't working for us

The second explanation was me, 30 years ago, in fact! I didn't share 
with anyone how badly damaged my poor nipples were. I was terrified 
that if anyone actually realised, they'd say 'you can't POSSIBLY 
breastfeed' so I struggled on....

Heather Welford Neil
NCT bfc, tutor, UK


-- 
http://www.heatherwelford.co.uk

http://heatherwelford.posterous.com

             ***********************************************

Archives: http://community.lsoft.com/archives/LACTNET.html
To reach list owners: [log in to unmask]
Mail all list management commands to: [log in to unmask]
COMMANDS:
1. To temporarily stop your subscription write in the body of an email: set lactnet nomail
2. To start it again: set lactnet mail
3. To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
4. To get a comprehensive list of rules and directions: get lactnet welcome