I couldn't agree more with these views. And the same for other words used to place character or temperament sticker on the child like greedy, when in fact the child may be working his butt of not to drown in mom's over abundant milkflow.
Warmly,
Gonneke, IBCLC, retires LLLL, MOM in Southern Netherlands
--- On Tue, 4/7/09, Marianne Vanderveen-Kolkena <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
From: Marianne Vanderveen-Kolkena <[log in to unmask]>
Subject: Re: [LACTNET] Lazy babies - pet peeve
To: [log in to unmask]
Date: Tuesday, April 7, 2009, 9:03 PM
----- Original Message ----- From: "Jaye Simpson, IBCLC" <[log in to unmask]>
When a parent tells me they have a lazy baby I gently counsel that their
baby hasn't yet learned how to be lazy and that lazy implies that the baby
is doing something purposely which is not the case. Babies are designed to
eat and to feed and when they can't (or appear to not want to) then
something is wrong. Perhaps someday we will stop labeling babies who have
issues as 'Lazy feeders' or 'lazy' in any way.
**Very good, Jaye. I, too, make an issue of explaining parents (ánd HCP's if necessary) that babies aren't lazy.
Not that long ago, I had a childbed nurse on the phone asking whether I could help, as they had such and such problem and besides all that, the baby was lazy.
I said I disagreed on that one and she said: "Well, that's what the parents said!" "Yes", I replied, "but you are working for a certified organisation, so it is your job to explain to them how all of this works and to ensure them their baby is not lazy. Saying a baby is lazy, will put strain on the relationship, as they will view their little one as someone who is purposely sabotaging the situation. When you explain to them that he is having a hard time, they will feel compassionate towards him, which will trigger very different caregiving behaviour."
I truly feel like that: it's not just an injustice towards the baby; it is also a way of totally unnecessarily putting strain on bonding and attachment. Self-esteem won't flourish with negative labelling.
Warmly,
Marianne Vanderveen IBCLC, Netherlands
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