On Oct 9, 2007, at 10:06 AM, LACTNET automatic digest system wrote:

> Say, a pregnant mom  is a cocaine
> addict...would we speak to her.  Certainly I wouldn't walk up  to a 
> near
> stranger and spout my opinion, but say a co-church goer, a friend of  
> mine, etc,
> sure I would say something.  Gentle, but firm truth.

Maybe I'm crazy, but if it is common knowledge, freely shared, that a 
mom were doing cocaine, as it is apparently common knowledge freely 
shared that this mom is not going to breastfeed, I don't know that I 
*would* say anything.  You can bet she would get a sling for a baby 
gift, because she has some big strikes against her in the bonding 
department already.  Either the hypothetical or the real mom obviously 
knows that she is not making a choice most people would agree with, and 
the best we can do is come along side and offer to help her be the very 
best mom she can be, *within the boundaries she has chosen for herself 
and her baby.*

When we have a relationship that goes beyond the professional, ie 
through church or Kiwanis or what have you, we have lots and lots of 
opportunities that have no surface relationship to breastfeeding--we 
can bring meals, do laundry, give an appropriate and useful gift, take 
care of raking the fall leaves that are coming down in my neck of the 
woods :)

In other words, we have the opportunity to show her that we care about 
her as a person and a mother, not just as a set of sadly non-lactating 
breasts.  Unconditional love is an amazing thing.

Lynn in MO
who got unconditionally loved a few weeks ago and it rocked my world.

             ***********************************************

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