>
>
>My youngest one was the same way. No risk factors. Unmedicated birth. His
>latch wasn't good for several months and I could easily take him off the
>breast even during active feeding. I had to pump to keep the supply up and
>make is feeding easier. Basically, he transferred milk mostly during the
>MER. His nursing did get better towards the end of the first year. I guess
>some babies are just born that way.
>
This might sound like I'm questioning the great progress we've made, but
I just want to think aloud a bit. For a couple of generations, we have
heard mothers tell their daughters that they "couldn't" breastfeed, that
they didn't have enough milk, that their babies didn't know how to suck
etc. We all know that in most cases the breastfeeding problems were due
to scheduling, poor latch, poor advice, etc., so we have told these
mothers the right things to do. In doing so, we have also given them the
message that breastfeeding isn't supposed to hurt, that it is a natural
and normal thing, that all mothers make milk, and that how to latch a
baby properly can be taught. All good things to know, of course.
But I wonder if we haven't also tossed out a lot of the experiences that
don't fit the model of a well-functioning breast and a well-functioning
baby. Some babies are harder to latch than others, some mothers make
more milk than others in similar circumstances, some skin is more
sensitive than other skin and all people react to stress differently.
This certainly doesn't mean that we should say that some babies can't
latch, but I wonder if it isn't also harmful to say, categorically, that
breastfeeding doesn't hurt and all mothers can produce enough milk for
their babies. Wouldn't it be more useful to say that right now
breastfeeding seems to be hurting *you* or *you* don't seem to be
producing quite enough milk, that this happens sometimes, and that we
will find a solution together?
It seems to help when I tell mothers that I see what is happening, that
I accept that is her experience, and that no, this is not the way it is
supposed to be. So in these circumstances, with these bodies, let's see
what might work to make everyone happy.
Many of us got into this profession because we had challenges in our own
breastfeeding experiences. It is somewhat helpful to say that it was
often because we got poor advice, but I think that tends to move us away
from the kind of acceptance I am trying to have about my life: this is
how it is; it is not bad or good, it just is. My body doesn't produce a
lot of milk easily, apparently. Given that, I can pump and wait for the
baby to be better at figuring out how my breasts work than I am. etc.
The same thing has happened with pregnancy. With our understanding that
pregnancy is a natural experience, not a medical problem, we have also
discounted some of the very real experiences of mothers. For instance,
now that labour laws have recognized that pregnant women are generally
healthy enough to work up until their last weeks of pregnancy, society
tends to be dismissive of expectant mothers who complain of being tired
or unmotivated on the job. My impression is that these feelings and
challenges are part of our normal relationships with our bodies, and
that we need to acknowledge that they are happening. We need more
understanding, not clearer norms.
Just my thoughts...
Jo-Anne
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