>anyway- I wonder how to approach a mom who will be
>adopting an 11 mo from  China next month about
>breastfeeding.  This would be *so* easy if it were
>someone I didn't know well, but it's my older sister.
>
Not exactly been there and done that, but I have been very, very, very
close. :-) I would say, "I've been doing a lot of reading about
breastfeeding adopted babies. Have you ever heard of that?" I am one of
those people who believe that closed questions are good for initiating
difficult subjects, and that you go from there... She's your sister, and
you'll pick up on her attitude, whether she says "Huh?" or "No way!"
With my older sibs, I have to pretend not to know too much but still be
credible as a source of info. So saying "I've been reading about..." or
"There's this doctor who says..." or "The literature on attachment
suggests..." perks their interest more than my own experience. Sigh. But
I credit my family with giving me good research skills -- the evidence
speaks loudly in my family!
On the other hand, when a friend mentioned to me that she was thinking
of adopting, I was much more direct: "Did you know adoptive moms could
bf?" Another friend said, "I know you'll know this...I won't be able to
bf, will I?" So it was easy to say, "Sure, and I'll help you." How you
might want to help your sister is up to both of you, but I figure
reassuring someone that there is loving support close by was what mattered.
Jo-Anne Elder-Gomes, PhD and youngest of five

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