Chris H-E writes:

>
>again...will we cater to the emotional states those who refuse to put their
>infants in car seats because we are afraid of violating their sensibilities?
>I sure hope not.


Chris, I know what you mean, and there is indeed an issue of public
health policy here. But I am often uncomfortable with the analogy of
bf and car seats. Bf is a relationship between two people, which
takes place in an emotional and psychological context...unlike the
use of car seats.

In fact, in the UK, the use of car seats is mandatory, in all cars
and on all journeys. You are breaking the law if your baby or child
is not adequately harnessed...though there are anomlies. For example,
if you only have two restraints and three kids in the back, you are
not breaking the law if the third one is not restrained. But the
basic law is clear and I don't think I ever see a baby or toddler not
restrained. It's just not an issue....no one thinks their civil libs
are being attacked!  It's had no effect on our bf rates, BTW, or on
the things HPs say to mothers!




>It is unfortunate that many moms have devastating first
>time bf experiences, but we need to find a way to stop walking around on egg
>shells without crushing those who made an honest try.


Yes, and that means separating out the language we use one-to-one, or
in a class of antenatal mothers, with the language we use 'in public'
when campaigning or speaking to colleagues or policy makers.

<snip>

>
>noticed a major decrease in milk supply).)   Now, all I keep thinking about
>was, "why didn't I call this mom one more time?"  Because I didn't want to
>bother her and I was afraid to make her feel guilty in case she had quit
>(yup--even I fell for this one).
>

This is a hard one - but generally speaking, I tend not to make more
than one call inviting a response. If they don't call me back, then I
have to assume they don't want me to contact them. This might not be
the right interpretation, but as a volunteer (as you were, in that
situation) I am careful to be *invited* into the situation and I need
to know I am welcome. Mothers are often shy, scared, busy...and don't
call back. That is their responsibility...we do what we can, and
risking hassling someone (who may well feel guilty for quitting - and
mothers *do* feel guilty, however inappropriate the feeling) is
something I don't want to do.

Heather Welford Neil
NCT bfc Newcastle upon Tyne UK

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