>the partner may be having some feelings (right or >wrong) about not being biologically connected to the baby, and it might be >VERY IMPORTANT to her to feel that something she's made from her own body >will be taken into the baby's body and become part of the baby. In other >words cells and tissue from her body will be incorporated into the baby's >body and will become parts of the baby. So she will then have a biological >connection to the baby. In Mali, women said that a father becomes connected to his baby by the transfer of a white fluid (semen). Likewise, a mother *becomes* connected to her baby by the transfer of a white fluid (breast milk). The process of breastfeeding, and having the baby ingest milk from the mother is what makes the two people kin to one another. Thus, any baby that nurses from a women is related to her, whether or not she is the baby's "biological/genetic" mother. This belief is known as the "milk tie" -- all children who nurse from the same woman are related to her and to each other, regardless of genetic parentage -- and is quite widespread in Africa and the Middle East. I think the non-birth mother should be encouraged to induce lactation. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------- Katherine A. Dettwyler, Ph.D. email: [log in to unmask] Anthropology Department phone: (409) 845-5256 Texas A&M University fax: (409) 845-4070 College Station, TX 77843-4352 http://www.prairienet.org/laleche/dettwyler.html