Dearest Pat, (And all of us who feel like she does) Believe me, I understand how you feel, and I am only a CLE who has been in the field barely 2 yrs. It is amazing to me that as soon as BF is going well after a myriad of problems moms suddenly quit. It is almost as if they realize that ""YEAH" I did it! Now I don't have to anymore. So I'll quit and make my life easier." ??? Makes no sense to me ('specially since I went through almost 4 mo of HELL to BF my youngest, who is still BF today at 28 mo, while I am 9 mo pregnant). WHy work so hard to accomplish something just to throw it away once you have accomplished it? I really don't think we can blame ourselves for a mothers "failure" or desire to quit BF. It isn't our choice what she does, it is hers. If she has the commitment, she will BF come Hell or high water regardless of what else is going on. SOme women think they have the commitment, but then can't tell their unsupportive family to bug off until they get their problems resolved, and end up quitting (and feeling guilty) because of pressure. Some women have hubbys who are jealous of the BF relationship and are absolute *&$^&*$#'s to their wives until the woman stops BF. Then they are nice again. (Power games, aren't they great?) I think what we need to do here, is just do the best we can with these moms, and when they have made their choice, accept that it is their choice, and go on to the next mom and baby pair. Give all the encouragement and support you can, and grieve for the loss of the BF relationship when it doesn't work out the way we know it can. We have a really hard job to do. Many societies around the world are not supportive of BF and the mothers get a lot of either conflicting advice, or in the case of Kathy B.s mom, NO advice either way. Or worse yet, are told to "quit that BF, and just formula feed. It's all the same anyway." . With the social influences out there against BF both in public and private, and the advertising garbage sent out by the ABM compainies (like the one I got in the mail for the young mother who used to live here) that tell people how great their product is and how it is so similar to breastmilk, and give lip service to BF (2 whole paragraphs in a full magazine! Another post...), it is no wonder that these mothers don't fully realize just how severe the repercussions to formula feeding are especially when they could have had it all and were wll on their way to successful BF. What kills me is the moms who would give anything to BF and can't due to lack of glandular tissue (worked with a mom who had SNS fed 6 babies because she desperately wanted to BF, but could only produce drops of breastmilk. True Insufficient Glandualr tissue case here, and fascinating, tho sad), or BCancer, chemo, or whatever medical reason. They feel guilty because they can't BF, even tho it is totally out of their control. ANd then we have the moms who have great supplies who dry up deliberately because "Formula is just as good. My Dr said so" or some other dumb reason. So Pat, and others, don't blame yourselves for these moms failures when you know that you have done all that you could and they were close to success but just gave up. It is the moms responsibility, not yours. And give yourself credit for helping that baby (those babies) get more breastmilk than they would have if you hadn't been there at all! TAke care all! Jay Who grieves when her moms quit, and parties when they succeed!