>I would not recommend taking regular doses of evening primrose during pregnancy as it does have a softening effect on the cervix.< Well, there are women whom I strongly recommend take LCPUFAs (long-chain polyunsaturated essential fatty acids all through pregnancy and lactation, some of them in large amounts, and there have been no adverse consequences...These include women with MS, allergies, bad history of PND, and so on. Can I please have the references for the doses of EPO having this effect? >31-year-old mother who is breastfeeding a 16-month-old girl. The mother >has a type of arthritis (avascular necrosis) in her jaw and hip...She has >noted a big increase inher pain level over the past four months, and of >course, she is limited asto pain medication because she is lactating...She >eats lots of yogurt and Yums daily to increase her calcium intake< Could I suggest that this mother stop distorting her diet because of needless concerns about calcium intake and investigate whether this auto-immune disease, like many others, relates to the level of dietary bovine antigen she is ingesting? (See the recent BF Abstracts on calcium metabolism etc and follow up the Prentice references.) Do a full allergy investigation and she may not need surgery at all. Indeed, she may end up healthier than she has been in her life. >Learning how to talk with people is an art and a skill. We have to make >sure we are emphasizing this skill.. etc< Amen, Barbara. Very well said. >Hasn't it been reported that using only one breast at a nursing session results in less primary engorgement?< Well, if it has, possibly someone misunderstood the mechanisms.. can we have a reference? Jan B. is right about the always let the baby decide principle and Dianne is also right about the for goodness sake let's not have rules and get too hung up on never changing sides. As a historian used to complexity I find it very hard to deal with some of the expectations nursing seems to create, that tehre are rules for everything. As Chloe Fisher said (and I don't agree with her about everything, e.g., nipple confusion) "The only rule is that there are no rules" - at least in the first week, when every mother baby pair gets lactation going so differently. Which means I think that whatever we say to mothers has to acknowledge that the baby is in charge and should not be arbitrarily interfered with, while also saying that of course mothers need not fear that there will be dire consequences to making adjustments for convenience and comfort..."Watch the baby and use your commonsense" is one of my maxims: I think mothers have more of the latter than they are given credit for. This is why I always recommend Bestfeeding (Renfrew Fisher and Arms) for new mothers. Carla (thank you) probably spoke for all of us re the cleft baby. Of course we recognise the pain enforced weaning costs. Why was there so disappointingly little response? I have had a few thoughts on this. I feel it is unrealistic to expect either that there will be answers to every question we ask on Lactnet (I rarely get answers to questions, as distinct from comments), or that many others will take time just to empathise and offer support when they have no concrete suggestion to offer. I am reluctant to cost hundreds of LCs money (some pay for every line) by posting such comments on Lactnet, and cannot personally afford the time to e-mail privately each individual whose problem touches me. Was this one of the reasons the Kathleens tried to encourage ParentLine, not Lactnet, as the place for seeking support in personal cases? I for one feel reproached for having not responded to this mother's pain, yet what could be said that is useful and not already stated? And if each Lactnut posted for each of many lactational crises, the digest would be huge indeed, and we would be overwhelmed in empathetic rather than informative comments.. Yet I acknowledge I am inconsistent here: I was glad of Evi's letting us know of her mother's death (though I sent my condolences to Evi privately for these reasons) and I think her brief acknowledgement of multiple replies was just fine.. What rule of thumb am I using, I wonder? And do we all have different ones? Kathleens, would you like to meditate on boundaries here, as a general philospohical issue very pertinent to Lactnuts' actions and expectations of Lactnet? Enough from me. Maureen Minchin IBCLC to 2001 part of ALCA Vic Committee for Towards 2001: the Breastfeeding Odyssey. July 27-30, 2000AD Melbourne Australia (Start saving, folks!)