Nancy,
Without seeing and being there, this is a toughie. You are sure that the baby
doesn't have a bubble palate?  I've seen this behavior with them. Did this
problem originate at birth, or more recently?   Any aggressive suctioning
after birth? Any possibility that it is partly associated with a strong MER?

The one thought crossing my mind is that maybe this baby could benefit from
self-latching, ala the tub rebirthing. I'm not thinking that mom and baby
need to go into the bath, but maybe mom could try reclining and placing baby
on top of her, like they do in the Deliver Self-Attachment video, and allow
baby to latch herself on; this might minimize touching of baby's head. If the
mom's milk flow is very strong, this could also aid such a problem by
utilizing gravity to help baby cope with the flow.

I realize that the extreme sensitivity to stimulation may be more significant
than what I am suggesting; I wish I could see this firsthand. My one other
thought is that if the baby arches a lot, is she nursing in a flexed,
supported position, or is she "hanging off" the lap?  Sometimes lack of
flexion can be an issue, too.

My couple of shots in the dark---
Lisa Marasco, LLLL, IBCLC
LC [log in to unmask]