http://www.onlineopinion.com.au/view.asp?article=10484&page=1 Lisa drew our attention to the above article - thanks, Lisa, it's worth reading, as are the comments written in response to it. It reminds us that the whole terrain of infant feeding in many western countries is one fraught with opportunities for women to transgress. Firstly, they are told they 'must' breastfeed for the sake of being a 'good' mother - but are then denied support, information and comfort to do it effectively, freely and without suffering economic consequences. Secondly when they formula feed (because of this lack) they feel criticised and victimised, like a 'bad mother' and often unconfident about how to prepare formula and whether it makes a difference which brand you use. Thirdly, if they do breastfeed beyond the first weeks/months, they transgress again if the baby is 'too old' or 'too big' to be breastfed - they may be told they are being self-indulgent or deliberately holding the baby back from developing normally. The very common reaction of women who end up formula feeding after a period of bf is to be angry, defensive, and even abusive to breastfeeding advocates, and of course in denial that there is any significant difference to their baby - they feel angry that they ever thought this way, and angry with people who continue to advocate for breastfeeding. It was also interesting to see again the notion that women who do not bf may be undergoing a hormonal/psychodynamic experience of grief. I think this could be a rich area of study. Are there any grief counsellors on Lactnet? Do they see parallels? The vicious, heart-breaking anger I hear in some women who have struggled with bf and who now formula feed makes me think of the anger stage of grieving. Grief-anger often seeks someone/something to blame for life's apparetly random tragedies - why did God/Nature/Misfortune/the government *allow* this terrible thing to happen to me/my loved one? In the case of bf going wrong, the culture minimises the tragedy ('formula is just as good') and there is no acceptable discourse to explore, understand and move on....nowhere for the anger to go. So - step up the breastfeeding advocate who tells lies about how great it is to bf, and who makes mothers think it matters - it's *your* *fault* I feel so bad.... Heather Welford Neil NCT bfc, tutor, UK -- http://www.heatherwelford.co.uk http://heatherwelford.posterous.com *********************************************** Archives: http://community.lsoft.com/archives/LACTNET.html To reach list owners: [log in to unmask] Mail all list management commands to: [log in to unmask] COMMANDS: 1. To temporarily stop your subscription write in the body of an email: set lactnet nomail 2. To start it again: set lactnet mail 3. To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet 4. To get a comprehensive list of rules and directions: get lactnet welcome