Gonneke has very nicely described a common source of unnecessary worry by mothers of older babies. Even at a younger age, mothers may become concerned about self-diagnosed “breast refusal”, simply because of two natural scenarios. 1) The baby has suddenly gone from long, leisurely breastfeeds to short ones with efficient milk transfer and won’t take any more after finishing. 2) The baby has become very easily distracted and needs to be somewhere quiet (even on a chair beside the bath or a darkened room). My first consultation on moving to Brisbane many years ago involved the first of these scenarios. The mother’s previous baby had had suck problems, and so she assumed this was happening again, but starting later. This was at a time when the fad was to assign absolutely every breastfeeding “problem” to “poor positioning and attachment”, and she was getting more and more frustrated trying to get the (excellent) attachment “right”. Of course, attachment had absolutely nothing to do with her situation. Unfortunately, by the time she contacted me and I took into account the baby’s previous history and current age, and observed her baby, she had become so certain it “had” to be positioning and attachment that she was reluctant to believe there was *no* problem. (I imagine she thought I just didn’t know, since I hadn’t found a problem!) Yes, I’m back on Lactnet for a visit, after an incredibly busy year. Despite the long time in hospital, completely bed-bound, and then in rehab till early-March, this has been one of my best and busiest years. Everything I set out to do has been achieved, along with a whole lot of unexpected commitments, and I’ve been away a number of times. The x-rays in October showed that one of the fractures hadn’t completely knitted, but it is held rigid by lots of metal and I have excellent mobility. Feels great. Months ago I resumed using public transport. I am grateful to the many Lactnetters who contacted me during my 3 ˝ months in hospital, with cards and messages. The warmth I felt from members of this caring, online community remains with me. Thank you. Warmly Virginia Dr Virginia Thorley, OAM, PhD, GD Counselling, IBCLC, FILCA Honorary Research Fellow School of History, Philosophy, Religion & Classics The University of Queensland, QLD 4072 Australia Gonneke wrote: What I do see quite a lot is not real breast refusal at this age, but miscommunication between mom and child, or rather mom having unrealistic expectations of normal bigger baby behaviour. At this age many babies seem to need/want multiple little snacks at breast during the day, where mom tends to expect the cultural norm of ''decent meals''. So babe pops on and off after a couple of minutes, ready to continue playing, where mom has been installing herself for a a meal of one breast-burp-other breast-burp and both breasts for a certain amount of time in order to ''reach the good milk''. *********************************************** Archives: http://community.lsoft.com/archives/LACTNET.html To reach list owners: [log in to unmask] Mail all list management commands to: [log in to unmask] COMMANDS: 1. To temporarily stop your subscription write in the body of an email: set lactnet nomail 2. To start it again: set lactnet mail 3. To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet 4. To get a comprehensive list of rules and directions: get lactnet welcome