Nikki wrote: >saying 'fine' when they are asked a direct, open-ended question. She didn't volunteer that she was in trouble, in pain and bleeding, until the third time I asked. If I hadn't been there, sitting in her living room, she probably would have ended up by quitting breastfeeding. Maybe breastfeeding question are like feeding cues, and have to be repeated until the best answer comes up? Maybe her pain kept her from hearing me?< Oh yes! I see this a lot, and so I make a point of asking very specific questions. Instead of asking, *Are you getting lots of poops and pees?* I ask, *Counting back, how many poops and how many pees has she had in the last 24 hrs?* Instead of asking, *How is the nursing going?* I ask, *How do your breasts feel when she nurses? Do you feel a tugging? How would you describe it?* It is tricky to walk a fine line. I don't want to put words in their mouths. I want to encourage more than *yes* or *no* answers because I want very specific information. I think that much of the time mothers (especially first-time mothers,) don't know what is normal. They may not mention their cracked and bleeding nipples because some well-meaning person has told them that breastfeeding usually hurts at first. They may be holding their baby at an awkward angle because they have only ever seen mothers bottle feeding. Very few people ever see a newborn at the breast, so how are they to know what to do? Many peds now schedule appointments for new babies a few days after birth. Wouldn't it be wonderful if the new mothers also saw a Lactation Consultant at the same time as a matter of routine? When I lived in the UK, a midwife or health visitor would visit new mothers every day for a week or so after she was discharged from the hospital to make sure that both mother and baby were OK. At that time, (up to 1973,) the breastfeeding information given was, at best, spotty, but at least the effort was made. When my DIL and my DD gave birth, I was able to be with them for the birthing and for a week or so afterwards. Both of them wondered how other new mothers managed without that kind of help. So do I :( warmly, norma *********************************************** To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail To start it again: set lactnet mail (or digest) To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet All commands go to [log in to unmask] The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(R) mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to: http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html