Jennifer, I also have a almost 4 year old (5 in end of Sept), and we are in the last stages of nursing. My first only nursed til almost 2 years, so this stage is new to me. I find myself very ambivalent to nursing - intellectually I know she still wants and needs it, but being a product of our culture, part of me wishes she would just cuddle. One good resource for you may be the Parent-L list http://listserv.uts.edu.au/mailman/listinfo/parent-l. This is exactly the kind of topic that we support there. One thing that I have heard about this stage is that sometimes the child IS testing the mom for leadership in weaning. I struggle everyday to be consistent in my words and actions, and to honor my own boundaries. I came from the typical punitive "parent as unquestioned ruler" type family, and instead, I have chose to breastfeed "on demand" and practicing attachment parenting. In attempting to be so thoughtful of my child's feelings, I still am sacrificing past MY boundaries, and at this stage, am resenting it. So when pushed this far, then I lash out. (maybe this IS normal - I am seeing my mother cat doing this to her kittens that are almost as big as her, and still trying to nurse). Anyhow, I think this is a normal part of breastfeeding & APing a preschooler. IME, this issue commonly comes up with AP moms. I read an essay about this, but I can't find it right now. IMO, the age 4 is the most difficult (so far) - half baby, half child, and you never know which you are dealing with at any moment! I hestitate to tell you what to do, since I am in the same situation, but I do sympathize! But I do think inaccessible clothes might help. At one point I decided I didn't want to nurse in public anymore. I didn't know if DD would accept this, but at a large family gathering, I wore an inaccesible dress, and when she asked to nurse, I just told her I couldn't, and she was satisfied with that, much to my surprise! So I think perhaps some very clear rules around nursing, with consistent enforcement would help - (geez I have few things I need to apply that to, too!) Warmly, Janice Reynolds (I have no thoughts on the hand-washing, though). > I'd appreciate some input about my own nursing situation: > > My youngest is 4 (5 in November). She stopped nursing with any regularity about a year ago, but she still occasionally snuggles up and latches on for a few minutes for the comfort. *********************************************** To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail To start it again: set lactnet mail (or digest) To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet All commands go to [log in to unmask] The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(R) mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to: http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html