Maya Bolman asks what she did wrong, since a mother whose situation seemed
to be resolving, decided she couldn't go on breastfeeding, and stopped on day 5.
Maya, it sounds like you did everything right. It's up to the woman. It's
too bad she stopped, after doing all the work and all the crying, just as
things were about to become fun and easy, because she was probably about one
day away from things getting a whole lot easier. Maybe you even let her
know this and yet she'd had all she could take. Maybe it was too painful to
realize that this is what she and her first child never got the chance to
experience, and she couldn't allow them to have such different childhoods.
Maybe, if you let her know that you care about her whether or not she
breastfeeds, you will get to know her reasons some day, and if you do, I
promise you it will be eye-opening for you.
Mia Westlund, who is also on this list, introduced me to the expression
'hobby breastfeeding', to describe breastfeeding just for fun. I've found
it to be a non-threatening way to plant the seed of breastfeeding just
because you feel like it, not because baby is getting all its food from
mother. Sometimes it isn't until the mother can feed the baby with
*absolutely no requirements for performance* that she gets it, that it isn't
about the milk. It's about closeness, and non-clock time, and caring. And
by the way, the baby can eat while engaging in it. There are plenty of
mothers breastfeeding exclusively now to nourish their children, who started
off as amateurs doing it as a hobby.
Rachel Myr
Kristiansand, Norway
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