Praise this mother for her focus and desire to breastfeed, but convey 
that she doesn't need to "try harder," she needs to "try softer."  If 
she has confidence that babies are meant to breastfeed, and  that luring 
the baby back may require small steps over several weeks, she can ease 
out of panic mode. A first step might be just getting the baby happy to 
relax at the breast again.

She's already seen her abrupt attempts backfire, since a hungry baby 
doesn't suddenly learn to breastfeed.  Feed the baby by the least 
stressful method -- probably using a slow-flow bottle for paced feedings 
that encourage active sucking and some breastfeeding behaviors (there's 
lots in the archives on this, with links to Dee Kassing's methods).  She 
can feel that she's making a small step with that, instead of seeing 
every bottlefeeding as a failure.  Some mothers do prefer an alternative 
supplementing method, but unless the baby latches well enough to use a 
supplementer at the breast,  it's hard to say that cup-feeding or 
finger-feeding would move her any closer to the goal.

Encourage her in her pumping, explaining that she may not get much in 
the early sessions, which are only "placing the order."   If she can see 
pumping as protecting the supply, and making the baby's job easier 
(because the supply will be waiting for him) and helping her compete 
successfully with the bottle, it may help her keep up the frequency.

It might help her to know that enough other mothers have battled through 
this scenario that it rates its own FAQ at the LLLI website, with links 
to two excellent, idea-filled articles:
http://www.lalecheleague.org/FAQ/back.html

Margaret Wills, LLLL, IBCLC

 

             ***********************************************

To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail
To start it again: set lactnet mail (or digest)
To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
All commands go to [log in to unmask]

The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned
LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(R)
mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to:
http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html