Pam Hirsch wrote about a helpful saying she had heard from an LLL Leader:
>If you give advice and it doesn't work, the mother may become angry
or resentful. You have set yourself up to accept the blame for her
failure and she may no longer trust your judgment.
If you give advice and she doesn't follow it and she fails, the mother
may feel insecure about making her own decisions and become dependent
on you, or grow to resent you.
If you give advice and information and encourage the mother to make
her own decisions, then you are EMPOWERING her.
LISTEN HARDER AND SPEAK SOFTER... <

In 1976, when I became a Leader, there was a tremendous upwards surge
in the number of mothers breastfeeding.  I believe that this was at
least in part due to the swing towards doing everything more simply
and naturally, and also because of the information and support that
came from the La Leche League Groups that were springing up everywhere
in the USA.  I think that more LLL Leaders were accredited (actually,
we were *certified* then!) during the late seventies and early
eighties than at any other time before or since then.

Ironicly, one of the first things I learned during my training was how
to *give permission* to a mother to stop nursing. Many mothers were
feeling pressured to breastfeed just because *everyone* was doing it,
and they would call LLL Leaders for permission to wean!

It was then that I also learned another useful mantra, *This is not my baby!*
I cannot tell you how many times I have found myself repeating this to
myself , having come off the phone with a mother who has bought every
gadget and read every book, but simply cannot understand that you have
to actually NURSE the baby as well!  I am sure that you can all relate
to this.

I wish that I could make every mother nurse, but I can't.
All I can do is share information so that she can make an informed
decision, one that she believes to be best for her family.

Another thing I learned was that mothers who are empowered to make
informed decisions often breastfeed their subsequent babies far longer
than their first ones :)

norma

Norma Ritter, IBCLC, RLC, LLLL

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