>How do I do this without alienating the father even further? Any
>suggestions?
I would discuss some of Kathy D's work with him. Before I studied lactation
my husband and I always had the talk about when I would wean, but during my
studies, some of Kathy's work was text for me so I had my dh read it, not he
is more supportive than any man I know. In fact, he lost his job last week
(say some prayers for us) and one of the first things he said with regards
to my 4 month old was that he was sure glad he didn't have to think about
buying formula or diapers (we use cloth).
Sometimes we need to remind people the whole "what's in it for me" argument,
remind him of all the things he can benefit from because his wife is still
nursing, baby will be sick less, less instance of cancer for mom, bigger
breasts, etc. Plus, something that I really believe in is this...express
how much she enjoys it, I haven't met a husband yet that didn't want his
wife to be happy, explaining how his comments distress her may help him
realize that he is being selfish. Get to the root... someone has told this
husband that nursing for X is wrong, men usually don't come up with that one
on their own. Someone somewhere is giving him grief about it, his parents?
coworkers? Make him confident in his wife's relationship with their son so
he can also be confident. It may also be a matter of jealousy. Maybe he is
jealous of the relationship that she has with her son, show him other ways
to bond with his baby. I think we are too hung up on using food to bond
with people, think about it... there are so many obese people in this
country (USA) and what do we usually do when we all get together??? EAT. We
need to bond to one another without food and this begins at home in the
early years.
Just my thoughts.
Melisa
~*~*~*~*~
Did you hear? Breast is Best!
Certified Lactation Counselor
Student Midwife
Alternative Medicine Counselor in Training
Childbirth Educator
www.nurturingmama.com
Mom to Harry who changed my life,
Jacob who changed my spirit, and
Elleanor who changed my soul.
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