Jenni wrote:
<Certainly the aspect of being self centred - we do rear our daughters to be independent individuals who can go out and get what they want - don't we? I think the biggest problem with this is how do you then incorporate maternal obligations/ responsibilities to the infant. I see the struggle going on in many first time mothers between 'what about me?' and 'what the baby needs'.>

This issue has fascinated me.  The woman makes her decisions, but what makes her choose that way?  The 'what about me' often (in my experience) comes from a woman who has probably lacked nurturing herself.  The old saying "baby a baby while she is a baby and you won't have to baby her for the rest of her life" fits in here.

How is it that an educated, confident, strong-willed woman who was previously out in the big world can suddenly adjust to being with a little baby whose demands must be met immediately?  Not only adapt, but thoroughly enjoy the experience for the period of the child's dependence (variable), then get back into the big world again somewhere down the track?  I don't think it has anything to do with 
< we do rear our daughters to be independent individuals>
The logical alternative would be to rear our *daughters* to be home-bodies.  (what do we do with our sons, in that world?)

I found a lot of insight into the adaptation issue through the Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences Vol 652 - *Oxytocin in Maternal, Sexual and Social Behaviours*.  The relationship of psychological and neuroendocrine factors fascinates many.
Our bodies are wonderfully made.  Women are made to be able to nurture babies.

I will be watching for other responses.
Joy Johnston, FACM IBCLC
Midwife and Lactation Consultant
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www.webrider.net.au/~aitex/joy.htm