Remember that humans are animals, we are mammals, we are primates.  A human
baby/child has been designed (whether you believe by evolutionary processes
or by a supernatural deity or both):

1)  to be held in arms, in constant physical contact with mother's body --
for the first months of life, and be mostly "in arms" for the first several
years

2)  to sleep in contact with mother's body -- for longer than the first
several years of life

3)  to be breastfed on cue, whenever they need/want, for immunological
protection, for nutrition, for state regulation (respiration, heart rate,
blood pressure), for comfort, for pain relief -- for at least the first
several years of life

Regardless of what members of a particular culture, at a particular time and
place, *believe* about the convenience or appropriateness of on-cue feeding,
or co-sleeping, or carrying the baby around, it doesn't change these
essential facts.

Human babies are supposed to be nursed and rocked to sleep -- the
composition of human milk and its effects on the baby's sleepiness, and the
fact that the baby would normally be in the mother's arms, attest to this.
Human babies are supposed to be breastfed at night, for many months/years.
Human babies are supposed to be upset if they wake and no one is there.
There are NO *natural* circumstances under which a human baby would be
expected to go to sleep by itself, to stay sleep by itself, to comfort
itself or to go back to sleep after waking and finding that no one was around.

We can try all sorts of tricks to get babies not to need their parents at
night, and some babies will be adaptable and not seem too traumatized by
this (but then, who really knows how traumatized they are), and I will grant
that some babies seem to sleep alone with no problems (I had one of these
kids, my son with Down Syndrome), and we can label normal childhood needs as
"bad habits" or "manipulation", and we can justify our treatment of children
with all sorts of elaborate cultural beliefs --

However, none of this changes the essential biological, physiological, and
emotional makeup of human children: designed to be held in mother's arms,
sleep next to mother, and breastfeed on cue many times during the day and
night for *at least* the first several years of life.

Final points: many children wake at night between the ages of 6 months and
24 months because they have teething pain.  I have many parents write to me
after finding my web article "Sleeping Through the Night," complaining that
their child used to sleep through the night, and now is waking more often,
and asking my help and advice.  My first recommendation is *always* to check
for about-to-erupt teeth, especially the very first teeth (lower central
incisors) and later, the first and second deciduous molars in the back of
the mouth, which can cause a lot of pain for several weeks when they are
coming in.  Invariably, parents write back and say "How did you know???!!!"
And once they realize their babies are hurting, they don't mind the night
wakings.  Often, all it takes is a little information to generate an
*attitude adjustment* on the part of the parents from "You manipulative
little brat who won't let me get a good's night sleep -- I'll teach you!" to
"Poor little baby whose gums hurt, come to mommy for some cuddling (and
nursies, if applicable)."  If it clearly isn't teeth erupting, I ask about
the achievement of new developmental milestones, such as sitting or
crawling, or walking, and about whether the child has been too busy during
the day to nurse, or is simply wound up at night from exploring its new
capabilities.  Again, parents will often write back with "Gee, she just
started crawling this week, and that's also when she started waking more at
night to nurse."  Again, once parents understand what is going on, they are
usually much more tolerant about the child's night waking.

I encourage parents to enjoy sleeping and cuddling with their children of
all ages, as long as possible, because this time is very fleeting in the
grand scheme of things.  Giving up the unrealistic notion that children are
supposed to sleep through the night by a certain age is often all the
"solution" the parents need.

We cannot solve the problem of parents getting annoyed at children waking at
night as long as we cling to the view that children do not have legitimate
needs, and as long as we define night waking as a "bad habit."  Rather than
try to change the essential nature of children (which is impossible), we
need to work to change the cultural belief system and change the attitudes
of parents.

Respectfully,
Katherine A. Dettwyler, Ph.D.
Associate Professor of Anthropology and Nutrition
Texas A&M University
http://www.prairienet.org/laleche/dettwyler.html

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