One of the gems I heard sometime, somewhere was "Bonding is a process, not
an event".  This points out that while it is great if the process can start
immediately after birth, if that opportunity is missed, it doesn't mean
bonding is lost.  This is where humans differ from many other mammals.  In
some mammals, if the "window of opportunity" is missed, the mother rejects
the infant.  Perhaps this is a protection to allow her body to "shut down"
milk production if the newborn doesn't survive.  As humans, we have the
emotional, intellectual, spiritual (or whatever you attribute it to) element
that facilitates bonding beyond the purely physiological aspects.  Since
bonding is a process, there is no one single event that guarantees or
precludes it.  Breastfeeding certainly facilitates bonding, but haven't we
all seen some breastfeeding moms who seem "disconnected" from their babies
and some artificially feeding moms who are quite attached to their babie?
Thinking of it as a process also discredits the notion that the only way dad
can "bond" is to be directly involved in the feeding process.  I have seen
this evidenced in cases where mom required absolute bedrest after delivery,
dad did all the baby cares except the actual act of feeding and dad said he
had at least as much if not more hands on time with baby than mom.

 

I stopped using the term "colostrum" in talking with parents long ago.
Instead I talk about "early milk" and "later milk".  Sometimes it seems that
people (including professionals) have the notion that until 2:59 on Monday
afternoon (for example), it's "just" colostrum and magically at 3:00 PM it
turns into "real" milk!  By saying "early" and "later" milk, you can easily
talk about how the makeup of the milk changes as baby's needs and digestive
system maturity change and how premie milk differs from term milk.
Regarding the low volume initially, I like to point out that it is a real
kindness to the baby that the milk isn't flowing fast at first. Eating
(nursing) is a new skill for baby and by the volume being low at first, baby
has a chance to practice the technique and get it "down pat" before having
to cope with heavier and faster flow.  Didn't we all learn to drive on quiet
back streets before tackling the freeway during rush hour?

 

Winnie


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