In a message dated 9/9/2006 8:41:38 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,  
[log in to unmask] writes:

I'm  looking for a way to discreetly and professionally stop these comments 
and  inappropriate behavior. I don't want to make a big deal of it, and have  
tried joking it off, saying that's not true etc. I feel that the comments,  
whether 
intentional or not, are unprofessional, degrading, and attempt to  make me 
look less than professional.  Any suggestions on how to put  an end to this 
behavior, without having a major disagreement? I'd like to  keep (or maybe 
it's more 
accurate to say I'd like to establish) a nice  working relationship with him, 
but want equal respect as  well. 


Susan, I take a shot at this for you: 
 
With the goal of coming out of this with an improved relationship with this  
doc: find or create and opportunity to convey something like:
 
" Dr X I admire your expertise and enthusiasm with new staff. Your teaching  
style keeps people engaged and interested. I must say tho that the comments  
about helping men breastfeed seem to take us away from the important  points we 
want to get across, the productive instruction we want to  provide, and the 
effective impressions we want to make."
 

 
This "we" approach may nudge him to buy  into your perspective, making it a 
*team* issue that he should  want to work with you on: 
 
......"those types of comments don't convey the high standards  and 
professional image that *our* positions deserve and require.....",  ......*we* could be 
more effective by sticking to the key issues and avoiding  those types of 
comments......" 

 
If that doesn't seem to be enough to effect positive change, sometimes you  
need to say "how I feel is...."
 
 
"it creates awkward conversation........." 
 
"makes me uncomfortable............."
 
"doesn't convey the professional image that my position  requires......."
 
 
Let us know how it goes!
 
 
 

 
Debbie  Tobin
RN BSN IBCLC LCCE



Fairfax County, Virginia suburbs  outside the Washington DC  beltway

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