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Subject:
From:
Jo-Anne & Carlos Elder-Gomes <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Sun, 4 Feb 2001 18:59:05 -0500
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Some observations:
1. worrying about not sleeping is just as bad as not sleeping.
2. both rest and good nutrition are important to well-being. The second
is easier to control than the first.
3. it is truly a gift to be able to go to sleep quickly and wake up
refreshed after a short period of time. Some people born without this
gift have to learn to do it.
4. giving your baby more than he needs is easier and more satisfying to
everyone involved than is trying to figure out if he really needs
something, and much easier than finding a way to get around his need
(thank you, Teresa Pitman, for your article on this in Mothering).
5. if something is easy to change, it is not a need. Only "soft"
solutions are worth trying. If something simple like dressing the child
more or less warmly doesn't change his behaviour, you may be dealing
with a need.
6. sometimes you can  "fine tune" your day a bit: get supper ready to
the point of microwave-reheating and have a nap with your baby, get a
friend to take you and/or your baby for a drive in the middle of the
day, go to bed early and let your dh do a shift walking and rocking for
a short time before his regular bedtime, hire a mother's helper to play
with the baby for an hour after school while you shower or sleep etc.
7. a change is as good as a rest. There is never a time that I *can't*
tell you what is on t.v. for most of the total 24 hour period. The
upside is that there are good movies on in the middle of the night,
international radio programmes, etc. Last week I checked my e-mail twice
at 2 a.m., and no one complained about me hogging the line.
8. being comfortable is essential. Find a side-lying nursing position,
buy a recliner, lie on the couch.
9. if you are talking to *anyone* expecting a baby, suggest that the
best way she can prepare for parenting is to talk to her partner about
how important it is not to listen to a baby cry. If she can go to LLL
meetings, she will probably hear about mothers saying they don't know
how often their babies wake up at night, or that their baby never gets
to the point of crying, and reconsider the whole approach.
10. this too shall pass. I don't know anyone who has breastfed long-term
who hasn't gone through a period of frequent waking, sometimes because
of anxiety or illness or sometimes at a developmental milestone (e.g.
two weeks before they walk, a month before a non-verbal child suddenly
speaks in two-word phases). I also don't know any mother whose child
does not move out of her bedroom, at some point.
Jo-Anne, mother of many wakers, and truly a gifted sleeper.

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