A very interesting thread - What are we all here for?  Unfortunately, due to a 
variety of constraints (cultural, biological, etc.) breastfeeding is not a cut and 
dried, black and white, all or none issue, like Mother Nature intended.
I like to tell parents to take all the information they have been given (from 
nurses, doctors, their mothers (in-laws, too), their girlfriends, books, the 
Internet, videos, and of course, the LC and lay it out on their mental tables, 
sort thru it, and put together a parenting (breastfeeding) package they feel 
will realistically work for them, given their particular lifestyles.  And if Plan A 
doesn't work, move on to Plan B.  This advice covers all an LCs bases. I am 
not part of a parent's decision-making process.  Like another poster stated, I 
exist to give her the information she needs to make a decision that is realistic 
for her and that will be successful.
If a parent asks if I can come home with them, I have failed.  I got the 
following quote from someone in LLLI a few years ago and have it posted 
prominently in my office:

If you give advice and it works, the mother may become dependent on you 
and call you for everything, instead of learning to research on her own, trust 
her own judgement, and make her own decisions.

If you give advice and it doesn't work, the mother may become angry or 
resentful.  You have set yourself up to accept the blame for her failure, and 
she may no longer trust your judgement.

If you give advice and she doesn't follow it and she fails, she may feel 
insecure in her own decisions and become dependent on you, or grow to 
resent you.

If you give advice and information and encourage the mother to make her own 
decisions, then you are EMPOWERING her.

LISTEN HARDER AND SPEAK SOFTER...

Truer words were never spoken.  Thank you to whoever said this first.

Pam Hirsch, BSN,RN,IBCLC
Clinical Lead, Lactation Services
Advocate Good Shepherd Hospital
Barrington, IL   USA

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