this topic rests hard in my heart.

I fully realized the struggle to encourage breastfeeding in our society and
the big "to do" about keeping a mother from feeling guilty about not
breastfeeding.

This is anecdotal...but it is what spurred me to become an advocate.

The physician's office I go to in my fair city is run by an IBCLC FP. She
has a lactation clinic in the office itself and hired LCs to assess and
assist moms pre and post birth. She herself consults at the end of most
appointments if there seems to be a problem. So far so good.....

After the birth of my first son.....I used the help and was successful in my
breastfeeding endeavors, while still slightly shaky about producing enough
from my one functional breast. Over time and from an outside influence
regarding my ablity to prvide enough breastmilk, (and between my 4 month and
6 month check up) my son went from one bottle/day of ABM to 4-5 bottles a
day plus solids.

On January 5, 1996 I held my son in my arms at 2 am offering  the breast and
him crying and refusing.....that was the last time I ever offered. He
preferred the bottle and my milk supply was kaput...or so I thought. I was
devistated and cried the rest of the night.

A month later,  at his 6 month check up, my personal FP ( in the same
office), not the IBCLC, asked about breastfeeding. I told her I was not and
she asked what formula and how much...blah blah blah.

Did she ask me...is there any reason you stopped breastfeeding...no.

Did she ask.....what happened...no.

Did she ask me if I wished to continue nursing my son....no.

If she had asked me this last question...what would I have said...YES!! And
I would have broken down in tears and told her about hat night and how awful
I felt and so on and so on. I would have jumped at the chance of
relactation.

But she didn't and my son continued to ingest ABM until the age of 11
months. I was never so happy to get that stuff out of my house.

I believe that the conception of my second child so soon after my first was
born (6 months) was a deliberate attempt to return to the breastfeeding
relationship. I was never so happy to put a child to breast. I had learned
what I needed, found a midwife, and realized it was me that had to pave the
way, no doc was gonna do it for me...any why? I truly believe it was to keep
me from feeling guilty for having stopped breastfeeding. Little did that doc
know that on that day she could have made such a huge difference in my life.

So it goes to show that even when you are in the right place with the right
information and support available...women will fall through the cracks.

Today my only solace is that my son, now 7 years,  got at least 4.5 months
of breastmilk. As well as the 8 ounces I pumped last year that he asked if
he could have and proceeded to suck up in a straw...yup all 8 ounces. Today
if I pump milk at work,  I put it in smoothies for breakfast the next
morn...just because.

I am glad there are LCs out there that push the boundries, and break down
the myths. I am glad that there are radicals like me that diss the ABM
companies. I am a staunch Nestle boycotter and always will be. I am also
glad for those that ask the simple question...."would you still like to
breastfeed?"

I will never forget that night...and I will never forget the words the FP
could have said and never did.....

I know guilt.........

Patricia
Calgary Alberta

The greatest food for thought is...........breastmilk, of course.

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