Hi Susan;
As someone else has similarly stated, this is obviously a defensive
reaction. It has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with the
parents. They are feeling some degree of shame/guilt/remorse/regret
whatever, and so feel attacked with the most innocent remark. Anything you
had said would likely have set them off! Same way as our poor parents feel
attacked every time we mention attachment style parenting (because if we are
doing it right then they did it 'wrong', even if we don't say anything like
that).
I think this is one of those "who owns the problem?" situations. These
parents have the problem.
Only suggestion would be to just say, "Yes?" next time a call like that
comes in! Anything else could lead to fireworks....
Take care and hopefully you won't take the responsibility for these parents'
emotional well-being on your own shoulders - it doesn't belong there.
Michelle Bentley, LLLC, CLE
----- Original Message -----
From: "Susan Kasten" <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Thursday, January 17, 2002 4:19 PM
Subject: Guilt??
.....> Well, last night when the Dad said they changed to formula at 2
weeks,
> and this is a 1 mo old, I just said, "I'm sorry." and went on to answer
> the original question. Was I ever suprized when I realized he had hung
> up on me! Five minutes later I was even more surprized when the Mom
> called having a verbal tantrum. She said I had expressed personal
> negative opinions about how they choose to raise their baby. I tried to
> explain that I hadn't, infact, I hadn't even been able to finish a
> sentence because the caller had hung up on me, and I would like to talk
> with her now. No, she would have none of it, and wanted our supervisor.
> Luckily, we have a very supportive supervisor, and I did follow through
> and let her know what happened. These people are extremely vested in
> their anger, and I am disappointed that I was not able to help them
> express it appropriately, and get on to the original question ("Is is
> possible to over feed a baby?"). I was quite upset yesterday, but I do
> feel some better today. I know I can't save every one, but I would be
> interested in any suggestions on what I might have done differently to
> save this call.
> Thanks so much,
> Sue Kasten, RN, IBCLC
> Dexter, Oregon, USA
>
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